I Hate Christmas
by You'veBeenJayed
Summary: These words are sure to never escape Kyle's lips again... Style. Late Christmas oneshot.


**I know it's late for Christmas and New Years and all that, but I wrote this over Christmas and just now got back computer access, so I'm posting it now! I just couldn't go without posting a Christmas story.**

**--**

"I hate Christmas…" Kyle sighed to himself as he trudged through the snow. He held his arms around himself and shivered as a gust of wind blew by. He wondered for not the first time if he should just stop moving and let himself freeze to death. Of course all this had been caused by Stan once again bailing on him.

"My, my, and what do we have here? A lonely-looking Jew?"

Kyle looked up in disdain to see none other than the last person he wanted to see in South Park: Eric Cartman. Why couldn't this day just go easy on him? For crying out loud it was Christmas Eve! Didn't this fatass have anything better to do than bug him?

"What do you want fatass?" Kyle asked through clenched teeth, both from cold and anger.

"I've come to wish you a merry Christmas! But, oh wait," Cartman feigned an apologetic look, "that's right. You don't celebrate Christmas, do you? Because you're a dirty, stinking Jew,"

Kyle growled and brushed past him, not in the mood to deal with his crap today. He didn't even need to look back to hear the large crunches of the large boy walking after him. He bit his lip to keep his temper in check. All he needed was a black eye or a broken nose or busted lip. That and the humiliation.

If they were still in grade school, Kyle could have definitely held his own in a fight with Cartman, and then some; especially if he was pissed about something—whether it was Cartman's fault or not. But that was a long time ago. Ever since they entered High School, Cartman seemed to yearn to snatch the attention of the ladies. So he began going to the gym and even joined the football team. He was mostly muscle now instead of fat. He could beat skinny Kyle to a pulp whenever he wanted. Too bad his personality hadn't changed much to make him at least somewhat tolerable.

Cartman easily caught up to the shivering Kyle and nudged him lightly. "So what's the matter Kahl?"

"Nothing," Kyle responded shortly. He really wasn't in the mood for this.

"Nothing Well of course it can't be 'nothing'. It doesn't look like 'nothing', Kahl. Why not tell with me? It is the time to share things,"

"Stan fucking forgot about me again! Okay?!"

Cartman smirked and tsk-ed. "Temper, Kahl. It's Christmas Eve. Where's your spirit?"

Kyle sighed and shoved Cartman, using all his might, out of his way to reach his house. "Just leave me alone, Cartman. I'm not in the mood." Before Cartman could say another patronizing word, Kyle slammed the door in his face. This didn't put the Nazi down, however. In fact, he seemed to have gotten happier. He smiled widely as he walked off the doorstep, whistling a Christmas tune to himself.

--

"Come in!"

"Hey, Kyle! Happy Hanukkah!" Kenny said brightly as he came into Kyle's room, sitting next to the green-hatted boy on his bed.

Kyle forced a smile. "Hey, Ken. Uh, merry Christmas. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be out Christmas shopping with your family or something?"

Kenny shook his head. "Nah. We already got all that done. We only get one present each since we never really have enough money to buy everyone a present. It's kind of like a Secret Santa, except we know who we're buying for and getting from,"

"Oh. So you only get a present from one person in your family?"

Kenny nodded. "Yeah. I always get something for my little sister and Keven always gets me something,"

"That's cool. Oh, yeah. So why are you here?" Kyle was started to get sick all over again just hearing how Kenny celebrated his Christmas. He didn't want to seem rude, but he wanted to get off the topic.

"Oh, yeah. I'm the messenger," When Kyle gave him an odd look, he chuckled and went on. "Stan told me to tell you he won't be able to hang today because his parents are forcing him to help decorate. Oh, and that he was sorry for missing out earlier,"

Kyle frowned, feeling like a ton of bricks just slammed into his chest. He was really looking forward to hanging with Stan today because that would've made everything better. And he knew they couldn't hang tomorrow on Christmas. He sighed a little and looked down. "Okay. Thanks Ken," he said, voice low and monotone.

"You haven't been able to see Stan much lately, huh?" Kenny figured, patting him on the head.

The Jewish boy shook his head slowly.

The blonde stood. A little lightbulb went off in his head. "I'm sorry to hear that, Kyle. But cheer up. I'm sure everything will be alright. Lots of things happen on Christmas,"

"What do you mean?"

He laughed, ruffling his hair. "You'll see… Gotta go. See ya later!" With that, he left, giving a short wave to the other boy. Kyle merely sat on his bed in confusion after that.

Only a couple minutes later, Kyle's cell began to ring to vibrate. He picked it up off his dresser without taking much notice to the caller. "Hello?" he answered in a somewhat drained-sounding voice.

"Hey, dude!" Kyle smiled a little. It was Stan. "Sorry I couldn't make it there today. Plus I forgot my phone until just now. Did Kenny already tell you?"

"Yeah. He just left a few minutes ago. You didn't have to call since you already sent Kenny." Even though Kyle enjoyed the sound of his best friend's voice.

"I know, but I felt bad," Kyle chuckled at Stan's constant apologies. The redhead liked the attention though sometimes. Maybe that was one of the reasons he began liking Stan so much? He sighed and realized Stan was speaking again. "Um, so I was wondering…since tomorrow's Christmas, you wanna hang out for a little bit? I know you're Jewish and your mom will freak, but I have something for you."

"Really? You sure your family won't mind?" Kyle asked, feeling hesitant and excited at the same time.

"They're fine with it. I already asked,"

"And not too much Christmas stuff, right?"

"No. You'll still be a Jew walking out, Ky," Stan laughed.

Kyle laughed, too. "Alright, fine. I'll come over."

He could tell Stan was smiling on the other side of the phone. "Great! See you tomorrow, dude! Bye!"

"Bye." Kyle smiled as he hung up. He set the phone back on his dresser and laid back in bed, closing his eyes. Now even he couldn't wait until Christmas tomorrow.

--

Stan opened the door. His smile greeted the person at it warmly. "Hey, Kyle. Come in," He moved aside to allow the Jewish boy to enter. Kyle did.

"Man, you do not want to know what I had to do to come here," Kyle told him. "My mom was off the wall when I told her I wanted to come over here during your Christmas,"

Stan rolled his eyes. "She'll get over it, dude." He led Kyle to the kitchen and handed him a plain cookie. "Want a cookie?" he asked, shoving one of his own into his mouth—except his was decorated in icing that made it look like a snowflake. "I know you're diabetic, so when my mom was decorating the cookies, I told her to leave one out,"

"Oh, uh, sure," Kyle said, taking the cookie and slowly eating it. It was pretty good. He was surprised Stan even bothered. He looked around once he followed Stan back to the living room, by the Christmas tree. "Where is everybody?"

Stan turned around with a present in his hands. "Huh? Oh, they went out caroling,"

Kyle burst out laughing. "Your family actually does that crap? Why aren't you out there with them?"

"Because it's totally stupid." Stan walked to the center of the living room where Kyle was and held out the neatly wrapped present. It was in shiny green wrapping paper. "Here, for you. Happy Hanukkah."

Kyle blinked and took the present. "Uh, thanks, Stan." He took off the blue ribbon and carefully tore into the wrapping paper. A small white box was revealed. He opened it and instantly smiled at the item inside, taking it out and holding it up to the Christmas tree lights. "Wow, Stan! It's great!"

Stan chuckled. "Glad you like it." The item was a golden necklace. At the end of the golden chain was a small, simple Star of David. It seemed pretty expensive. Kyle felt bad for not getting anything for Stan. He quickly put on the necklace and slipped the box into his pocket. He was about to say something when Stan spoke again. "You have great eyes…" Kyle looked up at him, trying his hardest to hide his blush.

"Um, t-thanks?" he responded awkwardly.

Stan scratched the back of his head. "Kyle, I, um…" he sighed.

"Yeah, Stan?" Kyle asked, looking into his sparkling blue eyes. Stan looked away. He was feeling nervous and nauseous.

"I, uh…n-nevermind…"

Kyle felt his heart drop. He frowned. "Oh, okay,"

A flash of orange showed outside the window that neither boy noticed. There was a knock at the door and they both jumped a mile high. Stan spun around, happy to have a distraction from the awkwardness. "I'll get it." He walked to the door and opened it. No one was there. "Huh? Hello?"

Kyle cocked his head before joining him, peeking over his shoulder. "Nobody's there? Who plays a lame prank like that so late on Christmas?"

Stan shrugged. "I dunno. Whatever." He turned and something caught the corner of his eye before he shut the door all the way. He looked up to it, mouth slightly agape.

Kyle gave him an odd look. "What?" He looked to the area where Stan was pointing and his mouth dropped with Stan's. "Ohh…" He felt his face heat up, despite the cold, snowy air that was blowing by from the still open door. Mistletoe. Of course.

Stan shut his mouth and looked at the other boy, feeling his own face heat up. "So, uh, I guess we should just hurry up and get this over with before anyone sees."

"Yeah," Kyle nodded. They leaned their faces closer to each other's. Looking into one another's eyes one last time, they both couldn't help but smile a little as they closed them and leaned in all the way for a soft kiss on the lips. There was a short flash neither one seemed to notice as they deepened the kiss, hearts beating quickly in sync, hands entwined.

They had to pull away for air. The two looked at each other, blushing deeply and turning away as if nothing happened, scratching the back of their heads.

"So, uh…" Kyle started, unsure exactly what to say.

Stan smirked over at him. "Wanna do it again?"

Kyle beamed. "Yes!" Stan closed the door as he grabbed Kyle and brought him closer for another, deeper kiss.

"What the hell are you doing?" Cartman asked, walking alongside the street with a pumpkin pie in his hands. He was looking at the orange-clad boy dusting the snow off of himself as he walked away from the bushes.

Kenny shoved the camera into his pocket. "Thank you, Keven…" He smiled at Cartman. "I'm making someone have a very merry Christmas—whether he likes it or not."

Cartman blinked slowly at Kenny. "The Jew? But this is Stan's house,"

Kenny smiled. "Exactly,"

Cartman smiled mischievously. "Still got the picture?"

The blonde took out the camera. "Right here."

"Kenny, what do you say we make our own merry Christmas?"

"To the Internet!"

With that, they ran away, laughing evilly.

"Stan?" Kyle glanced over at the raven-haired boy next to him.

"Yeah, Kyle?" Stan looked back.

"You think Kenny realized he still had the lens cap on?"

"He'll figure it out," Stan smiled and brought Kyle into a hug, nuzzling his shoulder. "Happy Hanukkah, Kyle."

Kyle nuzzled him back happily. "Merry Christmas, Stan."


End file.
